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First Five Principles of the 69 Steps

These principles are highly recommended guidelines. Each principle support and reinforces some aspect of a Golden Rule. I personally follow these principles religiously during the steps.

Please read the FULL explanation for each Principle. You may be surprised by the supporting information.

1. Spend plenty time with the non-sexual areas before proceeding to the sexual areas.

2. Never discuss negative items during or after the event

3.Always follow through

4. Soft and slow can be better than hard and fas
Principle Number 1.
Spend plenty time with the non-sexual areas before proceeding to the sexual areas

This principle is instrumental in supporting the Golden Rule that says "Make her the most special person in the world". Lets take a look at the benefits of using this principle.

First, the lady may not know how far she is going to let you go at first touch. This is true whether it is a first date or you have been married for 10 years. There will be times when she believes that she may not be in the mood. So many ladies are worried about leading a guy on that they would rather not start unless they know that they can finish. Discourage this type of thinking. A woman may not know how she will feel until she has moved a few steps. If she does try and wants to stop, stop nicely.

However it is a lot easier to convince a lady to hold hands than to grab their breast. If you start pawing and groping a lady that is skeptical of the timing anyway, the answer will almost certainly be NO. Even if you do get agreement, there is no way she is going to be in the mindset to do the steps.

If on the other hand, you start with casual non-sexual touches, she may surprise herself. She may feel the energies rise.

Second, a lady gets a sense of love from non-sexual touches. This is hard for a lot of guys to understand. No lady that loves you wants to be treated like a prostitute. With a prostitute, the man does not have to do any foreplay or entry level touches. He can just do her. A woman partner wants to be more. She wants to feel loved first, then the sex comes afterward.

If a man goes right for the sexual areas, the woman can easily feel like a side of beef. Does her feelings count? Could she just as easily be a blowup doll? On the other hand, when a man takes the time to touch her in area that are not sexual, it is because he loves her. Holding hands with a lady is not going to make her excited. She know that. You know that. However, if you are willing to do that then it is because you like her for more than just her sex.

Third, each woman has what she considers to be sexual zones. Everyone that has been a teenagers knows these spots. As a student of the steps, you know that there are other areas that can stimulate as woman as well. TREAT these hidden zones as if they are KNOWN SEXUAL areas. The reason is that if you run across a woman that knows her body, then she will recognize your attempts to stimulate these hidden areas. You moves will be taken as if you were stimulating the direct sexual areas. Don't take the risk.

Spend time on the non-sexual areas of every woman that you takes through the steps, then move to the hidden areas. If she knows her body, then you have already covered yourself. If she does not know her body, then she will believe that you are spending even more time with her. At the same time, you will be able to stimulate her without touching the areas that she is safeguarding.

Fourth, a sexual situation without sexual stimulation builds excitement. This happens on two fronts. 1) She prepares her mind for the event. She thinks about what is going to happen and anticipate it. 2) The anticipation will prepare the sexual areas. This is explained more in the steps.

A small example is the breast. If you are lightly touching the skin of the tummy and start move toward the breast, you can often feel a gasp of air from the lady as she anticipates the touch. Pull away slowly as if you were never going to reach that high. Now move toward it again. The anticipation builds each time that you might touch. In some cases, the nipple will become erect without a single touch. Now remember the only touches were on the tummy, but the effects intensified the sexual area.

Conclusion: You want the lady to feel special and loved. You want her to be relaxed and accepting of sexual touches. Therefore, take your time and give her whole body the love that she deserves. Push your mind into that place where she can do no wrong; that place where she is the Goddess of Love. This will make it easier to stay non-sexual.

Principle 2.
Never discuss negative items during or after the event

This is a very MAJOR principle for me. No matter what happens during the sexual experience, do not entering into a negative discussion. If one develops, tell your partner one time that you are not going to deal with it here. If the situation continues to escalate, get out of the sexual situation, then handle it.

First, let take a look at some of the things that can allow these negative opportunities. It is strange how that this very special moment where both parties want everything to go right can explode so quickly.

Maybe it due to the fact that sexual encounters can make a person feel very vulnerable. It is a time where a person removes all of their clothes. In some ways, a person removes their defenses. In addition, this time period is extremely emotional. Lots of emotions are close to the surface. Things that would only be an irritation can develop into a major blowup.

Sometimes the problem can be due to different timing. A man may be tired and feeling the need to be more urgent. The lady may feel rushed and frustrated.

It may be some stress from work or family that make it difficult for one of partners to lose interest. Maybe it is hormone related, possibly the wrong part of the cycle.

No matter what happens, don't respond. Don't try to work out anything. Don't try to clear the air. Don't try to defend yourself. Don't even try to explain.

In fact, I would take this a step further. Don't analyze the sexual encounter. Don't try to think of what could make it better next time. Don't think about what to avoid next time. This is not the time to analyze the situation.

If a situation does come up during the session that needs to be discussed, save it. Complete the session... follow through with the after play. On the next day, if it is still important, bring it up in another setting. You will find that 1) you will be more diplomatic and 2) your partner will accept it better.

Never tell a woman that has just had sex with you that you are disappointed. Hold her. Love her. Finish the experience. She will handle advice or suggestion much better this way.

Treat the sexual experience as a holy temple. Protect your intimate moment. This is the time where the two of you join together. It is a precious place and time. It takes on a life of its own. Each time that you return to this spot, you either strengthen or weaken it. Each time that you fight in the spot, it will create some concern the next time that you enter the situation. Refuse to fight.

Now don't take this that you must apologize and appease your partner if he/she gets anger. No. This can set up another cycle. Just don't respond to it. Don't allow this spot to be a battleground or boxing ring. There are plenty of them elsewhere.
Principle Number 3.
Always follow through

This principle applies to a lot of different thing. However, the art of love demands it. This principles suggest that you always ensure that you make sure that you spend quality time in the after play section of the experience.

After you have both climaxed for the last time, the event is NOT over. You may feel spent exhausted and totally drained, but it is not over. You need to do the foreplay in reverse. If you have completed the 69 step, the sexual areas will be extremely sensitive. Touch them very lightly and very quickly. Be careful to not give them too much attention otherwise she can easily get excited again or worse the touch could be painful.

After just a few moments, be sure to move to the non-sexual areas. Show her that you still love her even after the sex is over. As explained earlier, a woman feels love from non-sexual touches. Now how do you know when it is time to switch between the sexual and non-sexual areas? There is a very subtle message sent by the woman to signal the switch. In the foreplay she tells you when she is ready for the move from the non-sexual to sexual areas with her excitement level. Then in after play, she tells you that she is ready to move from non-sexual touching to holding by her relaxation level.

Why should you follow through?

One, as we have discussed, it makes your partner feel loved. It shows her that you love her past the sex that she offers you.

Two, it also affects her memory of the issue. If you have wild sex and push her all the way to step 69, then walk away from her without a word it will be bad. She may feel that she didn't do something right. She may think that she is a bad lover. Or she may feel that you are just a scum of the earth that got what he wanted and left. Either way, the result is not as you intended. A Good After play give the evening an end. This ending spot places the cherry on the top so to speak as well as closing the door on the steps.

Note: It also isolates it from anything that might go wrong. From the principle that instructs you to avoid all fights, this ending gives you a cutoff. It isolates it from any fight that may come up later, she will generally be able to remember the sexual experience as pleasant.
Now, the Follow Up does not stop at the end of the night. Each time that you go through the step, make it a rule to send some reinforcement the next day. It does not have to be expensive. It is a misconception among a lot of men that they have to buy a dozen roses or something equally expensive. If you have the money, great. However, if you don't want to spend that money, you can give some sort of feedback. Just a card or a note that says how much you enjoyed last night does wonders. Tell her that you love her.

Principle Number 4.
Soft and slow can be better than hard and fast

If you are going to build a fire with a bow and stick, then hard and fast is the best way to go. However, if you are working through the steps, slow hands are a much better guide. Remember, the 69 steps are based on relaxation and increased sensitivity. You do not get these with hard touches. No one relaxes when they are being manhandled.

This is just a very general principle. Apply it to your massages, and touches of both the non-sexual areas and sexual areas. The only place the you should attempt to switch to fast/hard hand motion might be if 1) you are losing the excitement levels in the late teens or 2) you are running into difficulty with the initial orgasm in the late 20's. Otherwise, all of your hand motions should be build on slow and sensational touches.

Touches with the lips can vary a lot more. Usually there is a lot of switching between light kisses and hard kisses. There are a lot of light suction and heavy suction. These are almost always in the late 20's.

As a rule, stay soft and slow. If can take enormous discipline, but pace yourself.

Principle Number 5.
Build conditioned responses

The 69 steps are built very heavily on the psychological theories of B.F. Skinner and Ivan Pavlov. If you are not acquainted with the basics of the behaviorist psychology, then you will find it well worth your time to do a little research. In overly simplified terms, it is the belief that humans tend to repeat actions that are rewarded and stop actions that are not rewarded or have negative effects. Over time, humans will build conditioned responses that causes them to react either consciously or unconsciously in a specific manner to a specific stimuli.

Everyone has heard of Pavlov's dog experiment where the bell is rang each time dinner is given. Soon the dog start to salivate based on the bell alone (even when no dinner appears). This was an example of classical conditioning. It is the pure association of bell to food. Soon bell and food are seen as the same stimuli. The animal will then respond to either with the same response (salivation).

Skinner took it a step further. He attempted to control responses and shape it. If the animal did something close to what he desired, he would reward. The closer the animal comes to the desire response, the more the rewards. After the animals has move a step or two toward the goal the earlier steps are not longer rewarded. This is operant conditioning. Skinner learned how to use it to control behavior.

This is a very shallow overview of these theories. There are many volumes of experiments and studies. The important fact is that these concepts work. They work with animals but more importantly they also work with people. In fact, many of the self-paced computer programs available today are based on these concepts. Now the 69 steps approach believes that you can use these same theories to develop conditioned responses with women. If you can make a dog salivate with the ring of a bell, then would it be possible to make a woman wet with desire with some stimuli. The answer is definitely a yes.

As students of the steps, these conditioned responses are critical. It is also vital to understand that they work in reverse as well. If the lovemaking is a bundle of upsetness and anger, then that will act as a negative reinforcement. It will make it less desirable. In fact, it is possible for a woman to be so excited that she can not stand it, then a trigger can make her cold in an instant. Make sure that you build these triggers to work for you and not against you.

Let me share one experiment that I conducted a few years ago. I was dating this wonderful girl that I liked very much. We had progress to the point that I could use the 69 steps. On dates where I was going to drive her wild, I wore Cool Water. On the days where we were only talking, I did not. Each time that I wore Cool Water, I would make sure that she had the time of her life.

Within a very short time, her body made the connection. All I had to do was put on Cool Water and she would get hot for no apparent reason. She had no idea why. It was a conditioned response. She smelled Cool Water and her body reacted. This is NOTHING new. The ladies have used perfume in this manner for years. Some women just wear it because they believe that it is expected. However, there are some that will wear that special perfume only on special nights. Most of the time we guys don't even associated it consciously. However, it is there. If you are unaware of it, the effects are even greater.

If you don't believe that they are using it, watch a master at work. She will be the one that makes sure that you are smelling the perfume on your body at the same moment as you are orgasming. As the bell and food become the same stimuli, so does the perfume and orgasming. This association then can feed back on itself and help you have even better orgasms when you are smelling her perfume. After the association is made, she can invoke a response with the slightest scent. A favorite technique is to send a hanky with a sprinkling of perfume.

The bottom line is you need to understand the psychology. People builds associations very quickly at both the conscious and unconscious levels. Work with them. Build good conditioned responses. Use a stimuli, try a specific song or a certain color of light, or maybe a certain scent, then tie it to a very pleasant experience.

The more subtle that the stimuli is, the better the effect. If she remembers that you always play that song, the effect will be null. In fact, it can become an irritation and then a negative conditioned response.

I would also warn you about clothing that have a scent such as leather. You want to make sure that the stimuli does not become a fetish. You don't want to condition her to cum only when she smells leather, do you?

The last warning that I would give is remember that the stimuli can be used by anyone. If you tie a pleasant experience to Cool Water, there will probably be a response to anyone wearing Cool Water. I am not saying that they will go to bed with every man that wears it. People are way too complicated for that. However, I would bet that the man gets more of a look than he would have without it.

Conditioned Responses are real. They are important. They can help you or they can hurt you. They take time to understand and perfect. Study the Behaviorist theories and experiments. Take the time to understand the human nature.